Friday, April 3, 2009

Sister, Sister

I keep blogging about boys versus girls this week. I am not really sure what this means. If you are sick of reading my tortured posts about whether boys or girls are superior, read no further. Otherwise, you have been warned.

This article
is kind of interesting. It documents a recent study that proves that children that grow up in homes where they have sisters are better adjusted, more ambitious and overall happier than children who grow up with brothers. And that the worst of all worlds is a home with only boys.

I find this research interesting, particularly as it pertains to communication. Having grown up in a all female household (minus my dad who listens to show tunes and gets massages and pedicures, so he may as well be female), I can say this is true. We communicate. And communicate. And communicate.

R, on the other hand, grew up in all male household and communication there? Without delving too deeply into the subject, you may use my silence as an auditory clue.

Now, me being the dominant crazy female I am, R and I have created a household where talking is all we do. I tell R everything, seriously everything. Even the things he does not want to hear. And he does the same (at least he tells me he does) and while I believe this is the key to our good marriage, I am also not convinced that I am this way because I have a sister.

My family just talks a lot.

But the piece did get me thinking about sisters and brothers and brothers and sisters. I enjoy a very close, albeit stormy and explosive, relationship with my sister even though she is 8 years younger than me. I can't imagine having had a brother and although I think brothers and sisters can be close, I have not seen much evidence of that in my real life--at least not in the same way my sister and I are close.

Now, granted, our mother died at a young age, which probably made us closer than we would be otherwise, but I still think we would have been. R and his brother are also close, but not like me and my sister.

If R had a sister would it be different? Or is it just individual? I am interested in this study because I worry about Ani being our last baby (which, with this recession seems likely) and what that will mean for Sam.

Ani, of course, has a sister. So he is the lucky one. And Sam? WhileI am so glad she has a sibling close in age to her, I am worried that it is not a girl and that they will not turn out close in the end. Is that silly? Those of you with bros, can you reassure me that you feel well-adjusted and close to your sibling?

I am feeling like we need to have a third and it needs to be a girl just to cover all of our bases right now.


Andromeda said...

I'm an only child, but I do know women who get along with their brothers. And, teaching in an all-boys school, one of the most delightful families I encountered had 5 kids (mostly boys), and another 6 (*all* boys, smart and polite and sweet-tempered). I think it has a lot more to do with individual temperaments than anything else.

Kristi said...

Hmm... interesting points. Like you, I grew up with all females and my sister and I are very close, and everyone in my mainly female-dominated family communicates very well (sometimes too well). Rich, like R, had the opposite experience, and as a result, doesn't communicate as well (or as much) as I would like him to.

I have a feeling that your good communication skills will rub off on Sam, and that she and Alan will have the close relationship you want for them as a result.

Stephanie said...

I have a younger brother and we are about 2 years apart. We've definitely gone through phases (which I'm sure all siblings do) but, for the most part - we are ridiculously close. He is more of a "strong, silent type" so we don't talk that often, we're still very close...and he does often just call me to say hi, which I like a lot.