I hope that I will look back at this post in a few months and laugh at my paranoia, but I am freaking (FREAKING!) over this swine flu thing.
Please do not bother to tell me the reasons I should not. I know them. It is not rational. It is the deep recesses of my maternal instinct that are telling me to grab my children and husband and run for the hills (or the lake house) until this blows over.
Honestly, I can't believe how scared I am. I am almost never rational about things, a fact I will readily admit and while I always love a little drama, I never really was scared after 9/11, SARS or Anthrax. But I am scared now.
Maybe it is because I look at my babies and I see their fragility, their vulnerability and trust. I can't even bear the thought of them getting sick or hurt. Or maybe it is because I am realistic and I know we are due a major population reduction. It is the way nature works. Or maybe it is the reality of something I can't control.
I am trying not to panic too much. My friends with kids are freaking, the ones without? Not so much. But my kids get everything. And I know if there is a flu to be caught, they are catching it. And then my mind follows the path where I can see oxygen tubes in Alan's nose and Sam weak on a hospital bed and I am panicked once again.
I know it is not rational. But I get really sick of people laughing and acting all superior because they are not freaking out (especially people who freak out all the time about less rational things than this).
To them, I say: go read the Stand. Who's laughing now?
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2 comments:
I hear ya!
I am trying to go about my daily life like I also do, but I start to think twice about my kids' every little sneeze. Jacob just started telling me he's not feeling well and, in fact, he's got a little fever. I'm feeling a little achy myself.
And to make matters worse, my husband has been in Dallas for a week . . . where they just closed the schools! Of course his trip will put him on a total of 4 airplanes and walking through 4 airports. Blech.
ME TOO. I almost had a panic attack while watching the news last night, I was so worried. To make matters worse, I called the pediatrician today hoping to get some reassurance and he told me to keep Gabe home from school all next week. He said if we don't NEED to go (i.e. if I don't need to work and can do without it), then keep him home and expose him to as few people are possible until we see what direction this is heading.
Now, I am seriously freaking out.
I was just talking to a friend and we were also discussing the kids/no kids thing and I was telling her that now with kids, I find the idea of them getting sick actually intolerable. It makes me sick. I literally cannot stand the idea. Before kids, I would have thought the media was exaggerating, now I can't stop watching.
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