Thursday, February 19, 2009

The Great Weight Hope

I am down to my pre-Alan weight and have been for about the last month. I am fitting into all of my old clothes and I am working out 7 days a week, at least one hour a day. So why do I still look like crap?

I am not looking for sympathy or people to tell me that I look better than I think. I can see.

My stomach has lost all of its elasticity it seems. Other body parts are sagging and things are just not as firm as they once were.

Dude, where's my body?

It is not that I expect perfection, although it is a shame that I was the leanest and most in-shape ever just before I got pregnant with Sam, which leaves me forever trying to get back to that point. But I do expect at least some version of my old self and quite frankly, the first time it was easier. I looked almost exactly the same within six months of Sam's birth.

My questions: is this because I am older or because it was my second? Am I not doing enough crunches? I suspect the latter, but it is so hard for me to motivate to do anything beyond cardio. I love working out, but I hate lifting and floor work. Clearly, I need to get past that if I ever have any hope of getting back into a bikini this summer. I am not of the opinion that all people should wear bikinis. That is why G-d made one pieces.

All this said, I am well aware that this is a shallow concern, especially in this economy. That is precisely why I want to focus on it. Working towards a physical goal allows me to take my mind off the very scary other things going on around me. So, I will be in my little bubble, earbuds on, listening to 80's music and doing crunches while the city burns.

1 comment:

Andromeda said...

I really think it's normal, and we just have very little media exposure to what normal post-pregnant stomachs look like. (Media obsession with pregnant celebs notwithstanding -- they have personal trainers, they get Photoshopped, and we seldom see them without clothes on their stomachs, anyway. I've been around my pre-pregnancy weight for some time -- I may have dropped briefly below it -- but it's not the same body. Turns out there's a difference between fat and flab (who knew? and I'd be fine with having the fat back). I try to accept the appearance as normal and something that can be dealt with through differently-fitting clothes (why, oh why, must pants be able to simultaneously give me mutton-top and be almost falling off?). Of course, I have never in my life had a body that could pull off a bikini, and I am pissed that I'm no longer good at biking up hills.