Every morning I wake up, work out, feed the littlest one, make breakfast for the slightly bigger one, get all of us ready and either take Sam to daycare or begin my day of juggling. Between work and taking care of them, it is a busy day.
While Alan eats, I have learned to read to Sam. While he naps (not that he has been doing much of that lately) Sam and I read, play water games, do our nails, color or play with stickers. When they are both up, I worry about how to entertain them both while keeping Alan safe from the swipes his sister takes (sometimes he ends up with gashes on his head like the one he is currently sporting). This two kids thing? It ain't for sissies. Oh yeah, turns out? It ain't for anyone but me.
That's right. I am apparently the only one who can take care of my two children at once.
Now maybe it is because I am scared to leave, but it seems that my sister, the doula and even my husband are unable to care for them both at the same time for any extended period of time. And the result? I never, literally never, get a second to myself unless one of them is sleeping.
How this possible you might ask. Well, I might ask that same question. This does not seem fair. There is never a time where I am not caring for one of my children (at least) And oh yeah, I am also supposed to somehow cram in my work, losing weight and some semblance of a life. R is also busy, I recognize this, but he gets 50 unencumbered hours of time to do his work each week. When he has school, he gets to leave the premises. Meanwhile, to get any slight break, I have to cram both kids into the car while they scream, drive 20 minutes through traffic and drop Sam off at the sitters just so I can squeeze work into the minutes between nursing and fighting with Alan to take naps. Then when R is home, he yells at me (what have you been doing all day? Why do we hire the doula?) for wanting a break. Love the guy, but if he can't even handle both his children alone without guilt-tripping me, how does he expect the people we hire to do so?
A full-time job outside of the home is starting to look pretty appealing right now. The fact is, my work is important to me and while I only make about a third of what R makes right now, I am capable of making a hell of a lot more. What I am short on right now is time--time to myself and unencumbered time to work.
So this morning, I have had to say enough is enough. R is going to have to learn to care for both his children. This afternoon I am going to trust our babysitter enough to take an hourlong run. This two kids thing is not for sissies, but I am sick of being the only one willing to take it on.
Things around here are going to change or Mommy is leaving for a spa week--alone. It's called a crash course in two kids 101. He can make 'em, he can take 'em, t(w)oo.