Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Baffling Male Behavior Uncovered

My lovely cousin was in town all weekend for a conference and we discovered that our husbands have something in common: they half ass the dishes.

Now, I adore my husband, let that be known. He has wonderful qualities I cannot wait to see imparted to our yet-to-be son, but this. This is not one of his good qualities. He seems to think that he gets credit for doing the dishes even when he leaves the big pots ostensibly "to soak." What that really means is "until you do them." So basically, I do the dishes at my times to do them and I do the hard part at his times. I thought this phenomenon was unique to my husband. Turns out? Not so unique.

How many other women find this to be true? Do your husbands, partners, spouses, lovers half ass the dishes, too? Do they throw Q-tips in the toilet? Leave the seat up (or worse, dribble and not wipe it up)? I seriously wonder if there is some kind of male finishing school I can send my son to because I do not want his future wife thinking that I taught him such bad habits.

Why do men have these universal traits? This is a mystery for the ages. I can say one thing for sure, though. Our house will have equity. If I teach Sam to bake bread, little Hank will learn, too. If Sam's chore is the dishes, Hank's will be the next night. They will both be required to learn proper table manners and basic bathroom etiquette. I am not going to treat my boy and girl any differently. This, I hope, will breed the kind of boy who does not half ass the dishes. But just in case, I am saving this post for his future wife. See! It is not my fault!


Stephanie said...

To my man, "Doing the dishes" apparently means piling them in the sink, or in the vicinity thereof. It doesn't matter how many times I try to explain that dishes and utensils do not rinse themselves and then proceed to the nearest dishwasher on their own. This is a common misconception among the men in couples I know in metro Atlanta.

Kristi said...

Oh no, this is not a unique trait. Mine washes dishes, but leaves them so dirty that I must then wash them again. I would rather he didn't do them at all than do them half-assed.

Lis Garrett said...

My husband is REALLY good about doing the dishes!!

However, if you ask him to clean up dinner, he somehow interprets that to mean do everything EXCEPT put the leftovers in the fridge. And because I'm busy getting the kids ready for bed, it may be as long as an hour or two before I see he's left 1/2 a casserole on the stove. YUCK!! Can we say BACTERIA??

Enna said...

My boyfriend is really good about doing the dishes, but he seems oblivious to other kitchen cleanup tasks - putting food away, wiping off counters and stove, etc... I guess I can't have everything.