Yesterday my baby bit me so hard on my nose she drew blood. Like a F#**#*# piranha, I tell you. I could scarcely believe it.
For about two second following the bite, I wanted to cry. And then the pain turned to rage. Seriously, rage. It was not rational. But it was the angriest I have been at her in the 13.5 months of her life.
I am not really sure why she did it. We think she is teething and she has been gnawing on just about everything. Honestly, I think she was giving me one of her open mouth kisses and just decided to clamp on. But whatever the reason, I was blindingly angry. For the first time, I had the urge to lash out physically. Yes, I had a moment where I wanted to hit my baby.
Rationally, I know she does not know better. But it still hurt like hell. Luckily, I am not led by only my instinct, contrary to what my husband might tell you. I was able to control my anger by putting her in a crib time out until I cooled off enough to face her again.
Even once I collected poor little confused Sam from her crib, I was wary. There she was, the same adorable baby I had been cuddling an hour earlier, but I could not shake the feeling there was evil beneath. Why else would she bite me? Are we playing out own 2008 version of the "Bad Seed" starring little Sammy as the evil Rhoda?
I forgive her. But I am keeping my distance and she is never, NEVER getting tap shoes. And if you don't know why, just rent the movie... There are no incinerators in this girl's future.