Now I don't want to get too far ahead of myself and say that it was all easy. It was not. Some tears were shed, some guilt exclaimed. But mostly, may I just say, ahhhhh. This has been one of my top days of parenthood. Here's why:
1.) I had time to go out and have coffee with a real, live adult and discuss real, live adult things like writing and new projects.
2.) I had time to go to spinning without rushing to make the drop off in the daycare
3.) I did not have to strap a squirming 19-pound child into her carseat 12 times.
4.) I had the opportunity to actually miss my child as opposed to resent her a bit.
5.) I had time to work, to return emails and phone calls and eat my meals, all without a chorus of screaming as the backdrop.
6.) When I called to check on her, she was blissfully asleep and quite content.
In the words of Annie: I think I'm gonna like it here. I cannot even put into words the bliss I feel at a day spent on my own. I missed her, but that in itself is a new opportunity! Overall, I have enjoyed the freedom and the security knowing that someone is giving her good care and playtime and that someone is not me!
Am I a bad mom for these thoughts? Well, maybe. But I am also never going to be in danger of being a martyr mom. I know my limits. I know when to say when. And it was time for me to have some me time. I think ultimately, I will be a better mother to Sam because of it. And so I say, if this is wrong, I don't want to be right.