I am so fashion forward. Come March, I will be sporting a "surprise" bump along with Jamie-Lynn Spears and Lily Allen. Who knew unplanned pregnancy was so chic and trendy?
Having a baby is like so in in Hollywood right now. That is totally why I did it, ya know. I did not want to like love a baby or nurture it or anything. Nope, I just wanted to be like Nicole Ritchie. I mean she is like SO totally cool. She is totally my hero.
Okay. So. In all seriousness, when did it become "trendy" to have a baby? Between bump watches in US Weekly and daily pregnancy updates on Perez, it seems babies are the new teacup chihuauas. And while I am sure litte Violet Affleck and Kingston Rossdale are beloved children, not just accessories, this baby-making fad is deeply disturbing.
It seems that you are no one in Hollywood until you prove your ovaries work. Just ask Salma Hayek, Marcia Cross or Halle Berry whose bumps (and post-baby bodies) have all been scrutinized daily by the tabloids. It is enough to make anyone want to get knocked up.
The whole notion is very odd to me. But maybe when you have legions of nannies and housekeepers and trainers and diet consultants, having a child is a much less taxing experience. Somehow I stay naive to the whole thing by assuming that even in Hollywood, people are driven by their bilogical urgings and not by some trend report. I certainly hope that is the case. Because, if not, there are going to be a lot of neglected older teens wandering the streets of Studio City begging for food and Ugg Boots.