After six months in the mother-hood, one might think I would be adjusted to my new identity, that I would be comfortable and know how all the pieces fit. And if one thought that, one would be wrong. I am still very confused as to how my old self and my new self can co-exist, still very much caught in the "shoulds" and "ought to's" that accompany being a mama.
Today R came home from work and took the baby to the store to pick up a few things. I was alone in the house for the first time since the baby was born. Even though it only lasted 20 minutes, it was a beautiful thing. I mirror danced, I checked my email, I watched Sex and the City (well 5 minutes of it, anyway). I forgot what it was like to not have to worry about anyone but me, me, me.
Yesterday, my sister and I went to the outlets, baby in tow. It was not easy. I love the kid to death, but her phobia of indoor strolling sure puts a damper on my shopping needs. I am also having a bit of an identity crisis. Not sure whether it is my new age bracket (early 30's) or my new role (Mommy dearest), but I am having some trouble finding the style that matches.
Do I wear the trendy pieces I am drawn to? The flowy, faux maternity wear-over-leggings that looks both comfortable and cute; Or do I leave such statements to the Lindsay Lohans and the Hayden what's her face girls? Its quite the dilemma. I tried on several flowy dresses and several tunic tops over black leggings--all very cute. But then I started to wonder if people would think I was odd for dressing trendy. So, tell me, does a mom need to wear sensible slacks and Cosby sweaters in order to be taken seriously? Can a woman in her 30's still get away from wearing the latest trends from Barney's? These were the pressing issues clouding my mind as I wheeled Samara around the mega outlet complex.
Gwen Stefani, Kate Hudson, Jennifer Garner, Reese Witherspoon--all moms, all trendy. Can I be like them? The answer to this vexing dilemma may not cure cancer or stop global warming, but it has me in a quandary. Can a mom in her 30's still dress like she did in her 20's?
****Shout out to baby Isabella who will be one year old tomorrow!! Happy Birthday!!