Clearly I Have Issues

We ran a 5k yesterday. Ok, so yes, I have a broken foot. But I had paid the race entry fee and was not going to skip the race just because my foot is still, you know, purple and painful.

Since the weather was so lovely, we decided to run it as a family, pushing the double stroller. Rob also has not run in a few weeks so he wanted me to run a bit slower and we thought the stroller might help with that. We ran the mile to the start and I pushed the stroller. Wow. Not easy.

By the time the race started, I had already run about 2 miles between the warm-up and the race to the bib station. Rob decided to push the stroller and I said I would stay with him. It was the first time I have ever run any race without giving it my all. What a blow to my runner's ego it was.

I know I am not going to win the race. And I also know that there are people who would have been happy with the time I ran (27:40). I also know I am not a professional runner, nor did I run division 1 track (as R is so fond of reminding me). I am just someone who loves running and who likes to give my all to everything I do. And yesterday? I did not. I spent a lot of the race running up and back, which at least kept my heart rate up. But it was hard to stay in the back of the pack.

By the time we finished, I was in a horrendous mood. I want to be the kind of person who can just have fun and chill. Clearly I am not. I have a compulsive need to put every bit of myself into everything I do. Can a lot of people run faster than a 23:18 (my PR in a 5k)? Of course. But the person I am competing with is myself. And I know when I am in shape, I can walk 3.1 miles faster than 27:40. So, onwards and upwards. This time I had only run two times in three weeks, was trying to stay with R (who ran a 28:40. I broke away at the last minute), was helping to push 50 pounds of baby (and 20 pounds of stroller), had a broken foot and spent a lot of the race passing people and then running back so as not to lose R. In other words, I can do a lot better next time.

My last 5k time was 24:17. In May, I plan to get under 23:00. I may take it all too seriously, but it is what it is. I love to push myself and running is a very easy measure of that. So, here is to May and a 22-minute 5k.