The other day, R and I stumbled upon one of the old home movies we made of Sam. There she was, adorable in her little white onesie, playing in her exersaucer, somewhere around 7 months. I could hardly believe how much she has changed. It is easy to get caught in the moment and forget that there were so many before it. But seeing her that young (and yet still older than Alan) has really driven home just how much she changed and just how much we have to look forward to with her brother.
This month has been a vocabulary explosion. She basically says everything now. She and I can have entire conversations. She still largely sticks with one or two words ("NO!" being a favorite) but she is able to say, "I want _____" and a couple other full sentences when she wants to.
She remains incredibly defiant and strong-willed, but she is also dripping with personality. Even at 20 months, her opinions are very clear, her sense of humor strong and her excitement level always high. She really is my daughter--so dramatic and passionate. If she wants something, she fixates on it and does not forget she asked for anything.
She has started putting things together more and more. Yesterday, I said the word "lake" because we are going to the lake this weekend and she said, "baba, boat." (baba is her word for any liquid and boat is obvious). She really understands nearly everything we say.
New this month is some sensitivity that was not there before. R and I tend to have very heated discussions and debates. They are not fights exactly, but some people might be scared by them if they grew up in a home where such passion was not encouraged. R and I love it and always have. I think it keeps us on our toes and I know it is what keeps our marriage strong and never boring. However, our debates have been upsetting Miss Sam of late. She starts to scream and try to distract us when we get into it. Last night she burst into tears while we were in a heated debate about the value of communicating points even to people (family members) who are too stubborn and stuck in their ways to change. She apparently did not like it. Immediately, R and I stopped, kissed and told we loved her and eachother. But afterwards we were confused as to what to do.
Neither of us wants her to shy away from confrontation or to be afraid of a heated debate. We both value this in our relationship and don't want it to change. On the other hand, we don't want to upset her. This is why parenting is so difficult. It is these little things that come up and make you question everything. There are 15 choices and 150 possible outcomes. It can be overwhelming at times.
Sam's hair has become completely unruly this month. It is long and thick enough that it flies in every direction and she will not let me tame it in any way. I am not sure where to go from here with that.
She is becoming more of a big sister, her outbursts are outnumbered now by her nice moments with him. She cracks us up all the time with her casual way of speaking to her brother. If she walks into a room, she will scan it and if she sees him, she will wave, say, "Hi, Nonny" in a casual voice and then continue on with her task. To see her treat him like this little equal--just another person in the room--is just about the cutest thing I have ever seen.
It is hard to believe she is just four short months away from two. How did this happen? My baby is so grown up.