R keeps saying that this child must be a boy. This is because it seems like I have been freebasing testosterone this entire pregnancy.
I am furious, angry, irrational. I spend my days starting out the window, finding various infractions to report to the police. Half the things I have done in the past two months will definitely be filed under the "too embarrassing to share" portion of my life's folder.
I have no idea why I am this angry, but little things make me irate. I feel like the Incredible Hulk minus the green makeup and massive muscles. R keeps saying that my stomach problems are probably stemming more from this anger and stress than anything else. Maybe. But it does not change the fact that I am a growling, snarling dog these days.
Lately I have also started to entertain the notion that the child I am carrying is the devil spawn. I give you the following as evidence:
1.) My morning sickness shows no signs of abatement. In fact,I think it is worse.
2.) I have never been as sick as long as I have been sick this past week
3.) I am zonked, exhausted, wiped every second of everyday
4.) I have been to the hospital/Dr. not once, but TWICE in three weeks
5.) My weight has been up and down and up and down for weeks
In other words: this has not been an easy pregnancy so far. Between the stress, exhaustion, stomach pain and nausea, I found myself yelling at Sam yesterday. It is not her fault. She is only one and she wants what she wants. But lugging around a squirming 19-pound child is very difficult when one's stomach feels as though it is being stabbed with a bread knife and one is so tired, they may pass out.
I thought this pregnancy would be easier since I do not have to drag my butt into work each morning. But I thought wrong. And at only 16 weeks (almost), I still have a long haul.