Two anniversaries passed this week.
First, Sat was the 14th anniversary of my mother's death. I kind of ignored it until the afternoon when the neighbor's leaked water through our roof and I flipped out. I think I was flipping about more than the water. In many ways, this has been the least painful since her death and in many others, so much more. Sometimes it is hard to believe that she will never meet her granddaughter, never know her daughter as a mother and never be able to grow old. I worry all the time about what would happen if I left Sam. When I was younger, people always told me it would get easier when I had my own family. And in many ways, it has. But it has also become more painful, the loss more tragic. It will never go away and I will probably never stop missing her. And to pretend like Nov. 17 is just another day... well, that is just stupid. It sucks. It will always suck. The end.
Second, a happy one, the first anniversary of this blog. Since I started keeping this blog for The Family Groove, I have used it to serve a number of purposes. It is a way to keep family members who live far away appraised of our lives. It will serve as a journal for Sam some day when she old like her momma and wondering what pregnancy and her first year were like. It is also a place for me to vent, scream and rant. And a place where I have made some great friends and kept in touch with old ones. In short, blogging has been such a blessing. And I thank all of you who read, comment and basically make it even more fun.