Last night I dreamt of the baby. I dreamt we went to the hospital and I had an extremely easy labor that had me skipping around the hospital room so excited to see my baby. But then R told me that he had let my Dad and E take the baby home while I was asleep after the labor. I was so furious because I felt like no one had listened to me. They did not even have a car seat. I had wanted to spend a couple nights in the hospital, but they took my baby away from me. So I called E and we talked about it and they said they had fed her. I asked what they had fed her and she said it was a bottle of formula. This was even more upsetting because I have no intention of feeding my baby formula. At this point, I was crying and yelling and really mad. But since I was physically ok, we decided to go to my dad and E's house. When we got there, I immediately ran to the baby and plucked the bottle out of her mouth and she turned to look at me. She looked just like R, long and thin with light sandy brown hair and bright blue eyes. Of course, I started to cry and all was well.
Interesting dream. I find the common theme in my dreams about the birth are fears of not being listened to and fears about the baby being fed formula instead of breast milk. Still, I dream about her so infrequently (this is maybe the third or fourth time) that it is so nice to see my picture of her.
I have been having what feel like menstrual cramps on and off for the past few days. They wrap around to my lower back. I am convinced that I will go a bit early. I know I have no control over it, but it is just a feeling I have. I think my body is getting ready.