R and I finished the nursery on Mon, but before we hung the curtains, photos and other decorations, we had to go to Target to pick up the hardware. I wandered into the nursery section and stumbled upon wallpaper stickers for the wall. There were several packs: tractors/airplanes/cars, fairies, boats, flowers and more. I immediately grabbed the fairy pack. R grabbed the airplane/tractor pack. We had a staredown. Who would win?
From the beginning, R has not been thrilled by the pink overkill, the giddiness I get when imagining my daughter playing dress up and barbies. He is worried that by exposing her only to the salon play sets (I am not kidding this was actually a toy set I saw in Target) and easy bake ovens, we will be forcing her into a corner. To show my support, I picked out a little blue pair of pants with a matching airplane onesie and a blue hat. We bought it and I am sure when she wears it, everyone will assume she is a boy. It seems so odd that baby clothes are so saturated with pinks and blues, as though we want to force children to identify themselves immediately--girls like pink and kitchen sets (or pink kitchen sets from pottery barn) and boys like blue and moving vehicles. Heaven forbid we give birth to a boy despite our three ultrasounds showing girl parts. He would wear pink! G-d forbid! What would happen? Might he be... pause... GAY?! Oh the horror! (For those who are missing my sarcasm, I will now note it for the record)
The funny part is, in my limited baby experiences, I have found this to be true: boys do get really excited at the site of fire trucks and tractors while girls enjoy dolls and playing house. But is this because we force them to be like that?
I won the fairy fight. It makes more sense to have fairies on the wall than tractors and the fairies have lavender in their skirts. It was an obvious choice. But the bigger choices are ahead. Every time I buy her a doll or an easy bake oven--the toys I have so many good memories of enjoying-- am I telling her she has to be a certain way? I can't deny who I am. I am someone who enjoys shopping and mani/pedis and a good blow out. I will take her to my salon and want to do those things with her. But she is lucky she has a dad who will also make sure she sees the joy in a big truck or a baseball glove. And we both have to promise not to be upset if she chooses one over the other.
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2 comments:
Look at it this way - she can have the best of both worlds. I was (and still am) super girly, but on the other hand, my dad taught me to love baseball games and to hit and pitch too. Today's woman can have it all and make both mom and dad happy without having to choose gender sides :-)
I think it's great that you and your husband can provide the best of both worlds for your little girl. And unfortunately, the world is inundated with gender-specific clothes and toys. Little girls and boys can't help but gravitate to them because of the marketing designed to entice them in those directions.
PS: Two of my friends have toddler sons who have kitchen sets and they love them. And both are married to very "manly" men (my friends, not the toddlers). ;)
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