Wednesday, November 29, 2006

My Uber Odd Subconscious

Last night I dreamt that our baby was born, but I somehow missed the entire birth. The logic of this escapes me in my current state, but in the dream it made sense. I was married to Nicholas Cage, but I was not sure whether he or R was the father and I was trying to convince them to both be the daddies. The baby had a full head of hair and I was freaked out because I missed all the "skin to skin" contact I am supposed to have after the birth since I had somehow not been present for the entire thing. When I went to breast feed her, I was so scared about the latch and getting everything right. I followed the instructions we learned in my breastfeeding course and got a good latch only to have her undo it and start talking to me. She asked what her friends would think if they could see her breastfeeding. I explained that it was natural and tried to get her to latch again, but she kept wanting to stop because she was embarrassed. This went on for a while until I was trying to decide if I could pump and then lie to her and tell her it was formula. Yeah. I am a freak.

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